Listen...

"The problem with those Democrats in Germany and France is..."

So said a caller into the Rush Limbaugh show today, which I gleaned while passing by a radio. Lesson: I gotta stop passing by radios.

 

A helpful graphic from Mahablog, in case anyone needs it. Print it out and keep it around while you're evilwatching.

Also to be found at Mahablog is the Timeline of Terror.

 
I've been telling people for years that if you owe the phone company money, they will hound you right to the end. And even past that.

 
Why does the Miami Vice theme song keep playing in my head?

 
James Lileks over at The Bleat spent part of yesterday's post deconstructing CBS' Return to the Batcave (better him than I).

He used the opportunity (discussing Return to the Batcave is an opportunity?) to traipse out a pet peeve I also happen to hold about the lifeless, two-dimensional grasp most directors have when it comes to recreating the past. As Lileks notes, "[d]irectors are adept at reviving the look of the past, but they rarely seem to grasp what it felt like, how it breathed and moved."

After displaying his taste for television past, Lilek continues:

"The details we take for granted are often the ones that are forgotten, and hence when someone tries to reconstitute a time or a place they miss the things that made it unique. Sixty years from now someone will set a movie in 1996, and I can tell you this: there won’t be a free AOL signup CD anywhere in sight."

Which is both damningly true and also quite appropriate, considering AOL was mass mailing floppy disks back in 1996, not CDs.

See how hard it is to reconstitute history so it moves just right?

 
Look, the "we hate the French" political sketch was cute and I enjoyed a laugh or two over it, but let's not go overboard:

"Rep. Ginny Brown-Waite, R-Brooksville, is writing legislation that would encourage the exhumation and return of American war dead buried in France and Belgium. She expects to introduce the legislation today out of frustration with those countries' opposition to a war in Iraq."

Taking the joke to this level is extremely disgusting.

(Discovered on The Horse.)

 
I have now bestowed upon myself the following rep: the closest thing blogging has to a terrorist. I think I can go far with this image. Or at least drive up page hits.

 
Quick everyone, destroy your supply of duct tape. Yes, I know you need it to protect your home against biological warfare, but it turns out it's just another terrorist weapon of mass destruction.

I can't believe our government has been lying to us about adhesives.

 
Fellow U.S. citizens, be safe in the knowledge that our duly elected government representatives are busy saving us from the terror that is gallic-tainted food products. (Note the real slap at the end of the article.)

(découvert sur Monde au Loin Diatribe - and excuse the rusty French...)

 
So, what's the cost of the war so far? $200,000. Shipping is extra.

 
Brian Young, psychology lecturer at Exeter University, has a problem with Thomas the Far Too Accident Prone Tank Engine:

"Thomas the Tank Engine is aimed at a pre-school audience who tend to be more likely to see the programme as reality. They haven’t learnt to disconnect what they see around them from what they see on television.

“As a result there is a possibility that the sheer amount of crashes they see on Thomas could frighten them. Seeing lots of crashes on TV means they could end up absolutely terrified of going on a train.”

I couldn't agree more. After all, I'm scarred for life by the non-realistic theme of talking trains. Maybe I should sue. Or stick with air travel.

 
To John Edwards:

I'm talking to the dead right now. Pretty chatty bunch, don't you think?

Anyway, I'm getting a G name. G or A. Maybe R. Who is this, please? This G or A or R — could be J — has been trying to reach you for some time. He or she is saying "tell John to cut out the cold reading crap." Does this mean something to you? Hope so.

Was happy to pass the message along; maybe doing so will shut 'em up.

 
Mmm, cake.


Oh, come on all ye faithful! Who doesn't like chocolate cake?

 
It's Monday, which means it's time for Poem of the Week! Not sure if it's cheating, but here's one I've posted elsewhere. An oldie but goodie, you might say...

Poem of the Week: Titanium