I want to live in a world where the answer to near every question is "Let's go hang gliding." Excluding offers of sex, of course.

 
Even to those of us who knew right off, Mr. Tomorrow, you are still a killjoy. Harrumph!

 
Damn the U.N. and their meddling ways!

 
It's the best little whoreshop in Viginia. Gives new meaning to the phrase "fill 'er up." OK, so it's not all that new...

 
James Lilek's Bleat from the present shows me two things:

1. He should never write speculative (i.e. science) fiction.
2. He seems unaware the B. Daltons chain is owned by the same parent company behind Barnes & Noble. I like to call it subversive monopolizing, James.

Enjoy the Apple store, and pray for a Borders.

 
Just say no to downloading. Hey, I'm completely with Britney Spears on this. The stealing of her music is a major criminal offense. Or just very sad. Definitely one of those two things, though.

(Link ripped from World Wide Rant.)

 
When people ask if I'll cry censorship, by God my answer is Yes, I'll cry censorship. Not that I'll actually mean anything by it, but what the Hell. I'll cry censorship for the simplest of reasons. Gets me thrown out of a lot of private establishments.

 
Enough!

It's time to stop using that purely marketing-created word "pre-owned". Pre- is a prefix meaning before, prior to, in advance of. In other words, a pre-owned vehicle (or a pre-owned metal detector, or even, uh, pre-owned panties) represents something before any ownership is attached to it. In one further other word, new.

But we're not using it that way, are we? Are we?!

 
A Reuters news article mentions that the guys involved in the Bumfights video you may have heard about were arrested on charges of conspiracy, solicitation of a felony crime, and illegally paying people to fight.

Initial Observation: I was unaware it's illegal to pay people to fight. Morally indefensible, perhaps, but it seems boxing would fall under this category, unless it's actually tagged as other on the books. So what defines a fight as legal? Baggy trunks?

Next Observation: These get-rich-quick-on-the-backs-of-the-helpless guys are entrepreneurs, right? I'm sure they can figure out how to make money on the contest to win them as prison bitches. Sending them away for a few may not be all that bad.

Final Observation: Reuters really likes the word "alleged". Even their headline says "Alleged 'Bumfights' Video Makers Arrested." A refresher for Reuters: If the "video makers" made the film, and they're not claiming otherwise, then they're hardly alleged. I could note that Reuters allegedly published the news piece I'm referencing, but that would be plain stupid of me, wouldn't it?

 
Spent most of the day in deep meditation, chanting "I will find a job." Or I may have just been napping. They're about the same level of productivity.

 
Rating those damnable away messages. And really, don't they deserve to be rated?

Kafkaesquí Thought of the Day: Everything deserves a critic; especially critics.

 
Crikey! I can't seem to twiddle me thumbs now!

I could have gone an entire year without using the word "crikey". Damn New Years' resolution.

 
What's good? The Google query "rat turds on the window sill" presently returns one entry. What's bad? It's a travelogue.

Addendum: And then there were two (or two and one-half; never sure how I should count Google's indented results).

Addendum to the addendum: Well, we're back to one again. Once Google reindexes guff's archive pages, it may (or may not) go back to two. Whatever the case may be, I won't add another addendum at that time. Promise.

 
"We need an energy bill that encourages consumption."

They say you get the president you deserve. I say: yup.

 
At 4:30am Pacific time, blog*spot went down (on purpose). At around 7:56am Pacific time, blog*spot was brought back up. The reason behind noting this? To display how in the universe of the System Administrator, time is a fluid and ever changing phenomenon. Ironically, there is a science behind it.

(Actually, a delay of 26 minutes is pretty damn good for the System Administrator universe. So take this guff entry lightly.)

 
A "cute" little news story today mentions how fifth graders in Elkhart, Indiana, at the guidance of their teacher, simplified the National Anthem to make it more understandable. They now have plans to dumb down the Declaration of Independence and Lincoln's Gettysburg address.

I'm a little uncertain of the educational merit here, though I'm all for learnin' the kids on what 'rampart' means; but I am sure of one thing: the teacher should plan on receiving a whole lot of mail...

 
Like I needed another reason not to eat hummus.

 
Just say no to Kentucky Fried Chicken.

(I'm sure I won't be the only one to say that.)

 
I try to avoid hitting obituaries on guff, but the passing of Robert Forward this weekend caught my eye. His 1980 novel Dragon's Egg surprised me when I first came upon it, a catalyst to my belief that modern Science Fiction can actually be good at both (Science and Fiction). And few world creations compare to that of the cheela's. Not that his work often hit this chord in me, but nevertheless he's among the few I blame regularly for my failed attempts at a career in writing SF. So long, Bob.

 
News about projects like the MarsFlyer excite me, but why are various non-Internet and other un-gitchy names being subjected to the highly cliché "space removal" phenomenon? Did they call it the VikingLander? The ApolloProgram?! No, they did not.

Think of how future generations will look back and laugh at the irony in a lack of spaces for space-related names. Stop it.

 
And I'm reading the Terms of Service for a Web-based business. And I see they have the boiler-plate warning preamble "Subject to change without notice". And I realize a sentence like that is, in actuality, a "notice."

 
Hard to believe, but welfare actually causes Mickey Kaus blog entries. That damn welfare is at fault for all of society's ills.

 

Uh, Mr. President, the book goes... what I mean is you need to turn it... no, try the other...

(Image bookmark by way of Cult of Lincoln, a blog which looks eerily familiar...)

 
Mel Gibson can now do pretty much anything he wants. I myself am presently floating a project past Hollywood execs: a film based on the life of Buster Keaton, to be performed in Sanskrit. It's a conceptual work.